GTA Online Micro-Transactions are Literally Hitler


By now most of you have probably completed GTAV’s story mode and have done your fair share of free-roaming in Rockstar’s open world masterpiece. Now you are finding yourself eagerly waiting for next week’s launch of GTA Online, so you can gang up with your friends and preform some online heists. Woah there, tiger. You may want to reconsider! If these reports of micro-transactions for GTA Online are true, your experience is going to be ruined and you will likely die of dysentery if you so much as attempt to enjoy GTA’s online mode!

A source with early access to GTA Online has supposedly leaked the UK’s micro-transactions and their prices. As seen below, you can clearly see that they are literally Hitler and the worst thing since the Virtual Boy. I’ve taken the liberty of converting them to their US equivalent.

  • $100,000 Red Shark Cash Card – £1.99 ($3.19)
  • $200,000 Tiger Shark Cash Card – £3.49 ($5.60)
  • $500,000 Bull Shark Cash Card – £6.99 ($11.21)
  • $1,250,000 Great White Shark Cash Card – £13.49 ($21.64)

Okay, let’s be honest here. Getting upset about these micro-transactions makes about as much sense as getting upset at a gas station for offering pay-at-the-pump service. You can still go into the store and pay with cash, but the option available for those who want to save time won’t somehow make your life any worse than it already is.

Personally, I’ll never purchase any of these micro-transactions, but I don’t mind seeing the option for those who can’t invest the time it takes to make the money in-game, especially considering how much of a time sink GTAV already is. Not everyone is an unemployed stoner living in their mother’s basement, you know.