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Medal Wars: Keisers Revenge Review

Medal-Wars

Medal Wars: Keisers Revenge is a real mixed bag for me. Sure this 2D isometric shooter reminds me of the games I played in the middle school (when no teachers were watching), but not for the right reasons. Medal Wars attempts to be “funny,” and ends up seeming juvenile. It’s silly whacky setting? World War 1.

You play as a new recruit who’s fresh off the bus. Which splatters mud in your face. Funny. The army base, named “Summer Camp,” serves as your hub where you can buy/upgrade weapons, gamble, turn in collectibles and receive new missions. Your Commanding officer, a Scottish lass with big breasts (funny) sends you on missions to “Go here and blow up/kill X.”

Medal Wars Screen

Medal Wars: Keisers Revenge (PC)
Developer: Retro Army
Publisher: Retro Army
Released: December 5, 2012
MSRP: $6.99 [Buy Now]

You start with a standard pistol for range and a knife for instant melee kills. You can buy other weapons such as a shotgun which reduces your enemies to a pair of legs and a bloody spine, and a high rate of fire, but low damaging machine gun. Ammo is scarce and can be picked up from fallen enemies. Enemies also drop collectible cards featuring scantily clad ladies, gold, sellable items and health. Health can be in the form of apples or cans of beans that make you fart. Funny.

There are several classes of enemies from heavyset soldiers and heavily shielded ones to monkeys with knives. Funny. If you’re not careful it’s easy to get swarmed and killed by enemies. There are no checkpoints, so when you die you respawn at your tent in the base. So you’ll have to awkwardly walk all the way back to where you died and possibly have the same thing happen since enemies to reset to their original positions.

At certain points the action is switched up with shooting gallery sections, which lead into boss fights. With no checkpoints. So if you die you’ll have to walk allll the way back and then do allll of the shooting gallery to get to the boss again.

Medal Wars has it’s fun moments. After all, who doesn’t enjoy shooting enemy soldiers in the foot and then going in close to knife them into piles of goop? But navigating the world with it’s unruly walking controls is a chore, and as you may have gathered, you’ll be doing a lot of walking. It’s humor isn’t particularly smart. In a victory screen a rat jumps up your butt, inspiring more of a “What the Fuck?” than the intended laughter. And the underpants. You literally cannot go 2 minutes in this game and not see somebody’s polka-dotted undergarments. This quirky little game can be fun, but with the control issues and all the maddening walking it’s just not $6.99 worth of fun.

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[Written by contributor William Fretschl]

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