When someone told me that there was going to be a live action television series based in the Marvel Universe, I was excited. Not just excited, really fucking excited because I’ve been a Marvel guy since I was a little kid and the prospect of having their intellectual property on my television every week was incredibly exciting. Too bad the show couldn’t be more fucking boring.
Things started off okay in the first episode where I had a glimmer of hope. When I first watched the show I thought they were smart enough to cast someone as Luke Cage but we weren’t seeing the origin of the Superhero for Hire, we just saw some random shlub who got caught up in something blah blah blah who gives a shit.
As of the five episodes I’ve seen, the show has given us nothing. Sure, we’ve seen Samuel L. Jackson (who is great as Nick Fury) and a few mentions of actual super heroes, but the show itself has given us nothing but some random spy bullshit and Clark Gregg back from the dead/never was dead/NO ONE CARES.
Look, I understand the show doesn’t have the budget to pay Robert Downey Jr. a kojillion dollars to play Tony Stark every episode but Marvel has a metric ass ton of characters that aren’t going to get their own movie and might as well be on the show they want me to watch in order to make it somewhat enjoyable. How about we show them teaming up with Silver Sable, or maybe they need some mystic advice from Doctor Strange? There are almost infinite possibilities available to tie in ANYTHING with the thousands and thousands of comic books Marvel has produced, yet they decided to make a television show about agents of the super hero agency that don’t ever see super heroes.
Look, it’s Sif! I’ve actually heard of this one!
Well, apparently someone at Marvel got the message because Newsarama has reported that Sif, whom you may remember from the Thor series, is scheduled to make an appearance in an upcoming episode. It seems she’ll be on mostly to shill the Blu-ray release of Thor: The Dark World, but at least it’s something. At this rate we have a better chance of seeing “Daredevil 2: We’re So Sorry” starring Ben Affleck before they ask someone to wear a fucking Punisher costume on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., but at least they put in a character someone’s actually heard of before. Not like it matters since people are still watching this pile regardless of how little this comic franchise has anything to do with comics. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to watch the original X-men animated series again, which is the true pinnacle of comic book adaptations.