When they announced that there would be a live action version of The Smurfs featuring CG copies of some of the worst characters cartoons have to offer, I was not happy. Then it was revealed that Neil Patrick Harris, one of my favorite actors who deserves to have much bigger staring movie roles than he has received, was going to be the human element of the worst style of big screen adaptations of cartoons, the bring these characters into the real world story, it was depressing. Now we’re getting a sequel because The Smurfs printed money and moronic audiences ate up the worst of the worst juvenile antics.
The Smurfs 2 seems like those involved with script writing and production decided that, since they had to do another one of these awful films, they would set it in a place they could enjoy filming what would ultimately amount to garbage in. So The Smurfs 2 takes place in Paris, because hey, Paris seems like a really nice place to visit and film in. Also they could throw in a line about how there’s a Statue of Liberty there as well. After the awful plot of the first film, the world’s worst wizard Gargamel has been using the Smurf essence he had extracted to become a world famous magician.
Gargamel is hatching a moronically evil scheme to kidnap Smurfette and force her to give up Papa Smurf’s magical formula that turns the grey Smurfs Gargamel creates blue, and imbues them with the magical energy he seeks to extract. The plot really doesn’t matter, since everything that happens within is so mind numbingly stupid you won’t be invested in the slightest. I don’t know why these movies bother to be set in the real world if the characters within behave like cartoons. Baby’s Day Out was awful because it tried to be a live action cartoon, you think we would have learned that it doesn’t work by now.
Neil Patrick Harris, Hank Azaria, Katy Perry, Christina Ricci, John Oliver, Anton Yelchin, Frank “Megatron” Welker, Paul Reubens and Fred Armissen are just a few of the incredibly talented cast who were given enough money to be in this colossal pile of shit. Seeing the money, while being paid to talented people, being used to produce this movie is just a shining example as to what is wrong with creativity in Hollywood and the awful taste of mainstream America, who eats this shit up. It’s the whole Adam Sandler problem, but instead it’s being spoon fed to the children, who deserve far better.
The only positive thing I have to say about The Smurfs 2 is that I’m glad the incredibly talented people involved are getting a paycheck. This movie is terrible and if you actually are forced to see it, you will hate yourself and however made you want this piss poor sequel to the modern retelling of an awful cartoon that no one in their right mind would actually enjoy in a modern setting. The fact that these movies continue to be money machines baffles and angers me. Paying to see The Smurfs 2 not only makes you a bad person, but punishes the children you are forcing to watch this trash instead of taking them to any of the good family movies out this summer.
In Theaters: July 31, 2013
Runtime: 105 min
Rating: PG for some rude humor and actionand language
Director: Raja Gosnell
Cast: Neil Patrick Harris, Hank Azaria, John Oliver, Katy Perry, Christina Ricci
Genre: Family, Comedy
Studio: Sony Pictures Animation
Distributor: Sony Pictures
Official Site: http://www.smurfhappens.com/site/
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