Pardon my Welsh, but what the fwcia is this cachi? That is NOT a corgi, dammit! That’s pure unadulterated anws blewog! Everyone knows that corgis are the cutest bundles of love in existence They bring happiness to millions, crap rainbows, and cure any ailment with their tiny legs, big ears, and their sploots. Oh, lordy, their sploots!
First things first.
This is a corgi:
This is not a corgi:
These are corgis:
And this is Satan’s Anus:
That… monstrosity is a part of the Dogs and Puppies avatar pack on Xbox Live. The thought of a corgi frolicking around my Xbox Live avatar is enough to give me a kawaii-overload. I mean, I bought a pony for my Xbox Live Avatar once. And it was a good pony! I’d gladly pay double for an adorable bundle of derp that actually looks like a corgi. This thing… wow. No. All of my no.
Okay, where to start? Oh, the butt boner. Corgis do not have lengthy tails. Well, most don’t. Most are adorable little nubs. If they do have a tail, they are usually poofy, fox-like, and proudly blowing in the wind. Not standing erect.
Now, the legs. Corgi’s have the most adorable, little nubs for legs. The avatar pet looks like it has bull hooves on the bottom of stilts! How do you mess up the tiny feet? Will giving the dog larger feet unleash the kraken? No, it would make it slightly less of an eye sore.
And those ears! They hurt! Corgi’s have pointy Yoda-like ears. While they can flop, it’s unhealthy for the dog and any owner worth a damn has their ears taped up straight. Even when they do flop, they don’t look remotely close to the shape of those.
Big thanks to fellow Corgi
worshiper enthusiast Dale North of Destructoid.com for bringing this poor excuse of an Internet sweetheart to my attention and inciting a 1000 year rage inside of me.
I… I can’t.